Warriors’ Green buying pickleball team with LeBron

29 Sep 2022

Playing pickle: LeBron, Draymond buying pickleball team

Draymond Green is fiercely rivaled by LeBron James on the basketball court. There have been four NBA Finals matchups, a Christmas game, and one world-famous Crotch slap that has created intense animosity. But off the court, they’re best buddies, with Draymond signing with LeBron’s Klutch Sports agency and guest-starring on his HBO show, The Shop. They even partied together at Draymond’s wedding this summer.

So it’s not a surprise that the two teamed up to buy an expansion franchise in Major League Pickleball, along with Kevin Love of the Cleveland Cavaliers.

You might be wondering what pickleball is. James Dator has an excellent explainer, but it’s basically tennis for children, played by adults. Rick Barry, a Golden State Warriors legend, won a gold medal at the Margaritaville USA Pickleball National Championships. Pickleball is a hybrid of badminton and tennis that uses large paddles and hollow ball to create a loud, small-court version of pickleball. As far as the format goes, Major League Pickleball team matches “are composed of four games (women’s doubles, men’s doubles, and two mixed doubles), with a unique Dreambreaker™ singles tiebreaker.” What’s a Dreambreaker? I’m sorry, you’re going to have to look that up yourself, but I always think a “dreambreaker” is the dagger three Steph Curry hits to eliminate a playoff team.

Draymond and LeBron have teamed up, though the world of pickleball remains full of rivalries. The International Pickleball Federation doesn’t get along with the World Federation of Pickleball. The Association of Pickleball Professionals was a competitor to the Professional Pickleball Association. The PPA banned any player who played for its rivals, including newcomers to Major League Pickleball. Is there enough pickleball interest in the area to support three professional leagues of pickleball? It is unlikely.

That didn’t stop MLP from expanding from 12 teams to 16 this season, which created the investment opportunity for the NBA group. Here are the current teams.

The 5s (not a very good name)
Jackrabbits
ATX Pickleballers (similar to naming your team the Golden State Basketball Players).
Mad Drops Pickleball Club (seemingly renamed by a 55-year old British man trying to sound hip).
Clean Cause (self-testing for drugs)
Chimeras (fictional mutant creatures?)
Lions
Florida Smash (also Ron DeSantis’s campaign slogan)
The Bus (maybe they want Jerome Bettis to sign it?)
BLQK is a coffee company sponsored initiative that aims to build legacies for our Queens and Kings.
Ranchers
Hard Eights (R.I.P. Philip Baker Hall

It seems like LeBron or Draymond will need to spend at most three to four minutes choosing a name for their expansion franchise that reflects the high standards of Major League Pickleball. Here are some suggestions: