Coast Guard rescues Dave Portnoy in Nantucket Harbor

Barstool Sports owner and pizza review king Dave Portnoy found out just how vengeful an angry Poseidon can be during a brief misadventure at a Massaschutes harbor Monday aboard his 28-foot yacht. Luckily, the U.S. Coast Guard was nearby — probably because Portnoy never left Nantucket Harbor. 

It began with a call to the Coast Guard station on the ritzy island.

“Sector southeastern New England had received a report from the USCG station Brant Point of a 28-foot pleasure craft that belonged to Dave Portnoy,” USCG spokesperson Petty Officer 2nd Class Diolanda Ballero told Task & Purpose.“It broke free from the mooring in Nantucket harbor, and then it was seen drifting through the area.” 

Officials soon learned that Portnoy was aboard the boat as it began drifting out of the harbor without power. In a social media post, Portnoy said he could not steer the boat or call for help via radio. He also said he was unable to drop his anchor due to no power. 

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“Captain Dave, on his third time out, made a major mistake,” Portney said in tongue-in-cheek video posted to Instagram. “Captain Dave unhooked himself from the buoy before he turned the boat on and make sure the boat wasn’t dead.”

Pushed by the wind, Portnoy’s boat was in danger of pushing into a very busy Nantucket harbor, Portnoy said in a third-person voice.

“Captain Dave took out the flare thing — which he’s not really a flare gun guy or really any type of firework guy,” Portnoy said. “ Captain Dave shoots his f***ing gun into the sky, distress signal, still nothing.” 

A local boater saw him waving in distress and pulled alongside the drifting boat (Portnoy said in the video that his rescuer arrived in a rowboat). They then called for help on their own radio. Brant Point Coast Guard personnel were training nearby and diverted for the rescue. 

“They ended up just towing the vessel back to its mooring,” Ballero said. 

“So it’s almost uncertain 100% what happened. But from talking to the station, they were saying that it wasn’t anything too dire,” Ballero said. “It might have just been something that may have been scary to him at the moment. However, for us, it was pretty much just like a routine tow.” 

Ballero said it’s important for all boat owners to take the proper boating classes and be prepared for the worst-case scenario, even in a familiar harbor.

Portnoy said it was his third time serving as captain of his boat. But, he said he may never go out on the water as “Captain Dave” again, saying, “The sea’s angry, my friends.”

Ballero concurred.

“You can be the most prepared person in the world, but sometimes these accidents happen. […]. Poseidon is not a very happy guy,” Ballero said. 

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