My tribute to comedian Bob Newhart: In his own words

Among the many tributes to comedian Bob Newhart, let me add mine — in his own words — from interviews and press conferences over 25 years.

Many words have been posted since his death Thursday, at age 94, about his two classic TV series (The Bob Newhart Show and Newhart); his Emmy-winning (finally!) guest star as Professor Proton on The Big Bang Theory; and his unforgettable role as Will Farrell’s father on Elf. All sprang from the historic success of his 1960 comedy album, The Button-Down Mind of Bob Newhart.

I was very fortunate to interview Newhart many times throughout his career. Very fortunate because whether at a press conference, or talking to a few of us TV columnists in a hotel hallway, Newhart spoke in that hilarious deadpan style off the stage, too. Every encounter with Newhart was filled with laughs.

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Over the years, Newhart freely reflected with us on his hits as Dr. Bob Hartley, the Chicago psychologist on The Bob Newhart Show (1972-78) and as Vermont inn manager Dick Loudon on Newhart (1982-90).

And his misses. Who remembers Bob the Chicago comic book writer on CBS 1992-93? Or George & Leo with Judd Hirsch on CBS in 1997-98?

Newhart frequently talked about his transition from Chicago accountant to stand-up comic with the The Button-Down Mind of Bob Newhart, the first comedy record to win the Grammy Award for Album of the Year, beating Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole and Harry Belafonte in 1961.

The Button-Down routines I listened to as a kid about phone calls to Abe Lincoln or the Wright Brothers are still uproariously funny 65 years later. And when I taught my teenage sons to drive I played them Newhart’s “The Driving Instructor” routine so they would understand why I’d start laughing while they’re driving me around town.

From 25 years of interviews, here’s Newhart on Newhart:

NEWHART TELEPHONE ROUTINE AFTER THE WRIGHT BROTHERS FIRST POWERED FLIGHT: “Who is this, Orville? Where’s Willard? Wilber! I’m sorry… The only way to make any loot on this is to start booking passengers as soon as possible … How many can you handle you suppose? Five on either side. Is there any way of putting a john on it? … At Kittyhawk last week how did it go? 105 feet? That’s all? Do the 12 guys still have to push it down a hill? They do? Well, that’s going to kill our time to the coast if we’ve got to land every 105 feet….”

ABE LINCOLN’S PRESS AGENT CALL: “Abe, Abe, please read the bio. You were a rail-splitter then an attorney. Abe, it doesn’t make sense the other way around. You wouldn’t give up your law practice to become a rail-splitter.”

HIS TV SUCCESS:  “It starts with the writing. I stumbled on a formula. Find the best writers you can, get the finest cast you can find, and then take all the credit for yourself.”

Courtesy Paramount Pictures

NOT WINNING AN EMMY FOR HIS TWO SEMINAL SITCOMS: “It frustrates me because the people were so good, and they weren’t being recognized. I said they almost made it look too easy.”

IN MARY’S SHADOW: “They put us on (in 1972) behind Mary Tyler Moore, which was a dream time slot (9:30 p.m. Saturday). We always kind of felt we lived in the shadow of Mary…. At one point I went to CBS — I may be the only person to ever have done this — and asked to be moved out of that time slot because I felt what we were doing was pretty good and we weren’t recognized for it.”

TV FIRST: After the smash success of his Button-Down Mind album, NBC signed him to star in a prime-time sketch series called The Bob Newhart Show. It was canceled after one season (1961-62). “We won a Peabody, an Emmy and a pink slip from NBC,” he quipped.

THAT NEWHART FINALE: One of the greatest moments in TV sitcom history was the Newhart series finale in May 1990 when Newhart woke up in bed with his Bob Newhart Show TV wife Emily (Suzanne Pleschette). “You won’t believe the dream I just had . . . I was an innkeeper in this crazy little town in Vermont,” he said as the audience howled.

“It was actually my wife’s (Ginnie) idea … We actually put in the script, to mislead the tabloids, where I get hit in the head with a golf ball and end up going to heaven. We never intended to shoot it… The crew didn’t even know. We just told them to aim your camera here, and we pulled the curtain aside and the set got applause. The bedroom set (from the Bob Newhart Show). They knew where it was, and they started applauding.”

ART IMITATES LIFE: As a comedian, he takes “the anomalies of life and seemingly explain them away, and let you get on to the more important things in the world. I think that’s what we do. And it’s a great source of satisfaction to — I mean, at this point in my career, people come up and say, ’Thank you very much for the laughter.’ And my answer is, ‘It was my pleasure.’ “

HUSBANDS & WIVES: “I’ve always said that the secret to my success was that the men in the audience think they were in the Army with me. And that’s who I look like. And the women think I was their first husband.”

COMING CLEAN: Unlike many comedians, Newhart didn't use vulgar language in his nightclub act. “Working ‘clean,’ was always — you always felt good after the show that you didn’t have to shock… And at the same time, I will say I think one of the funniest men ever is Richard Pryor… once you get past the language … It’s just the way I chose to work because I felt good after the show, but I don’t find fault with people who feel they have to use stronger language.”

THE WRITE STUFF: “I filled in for Johnny (Carson) one time for three weeks (on the Tonight Show)… I had no life. I mean, none at all. I got up and I read the paper in the morning looking for something for the monologue that day. And then I tried to read at least sections of the book of the author who was on… And then you do the show, and you go, ‘Whew!’ … and then I’ve got to come up with a monologue for tomorrow. So at the end of three weeks, I was exhausted. I was amazed Johnny was able to do it for 30 years.”

CALLING ABE LINCOLN: “The funny thing about the Lincoln (routine), and the other ones, they’re instantaneous. They write themselves… You get a good premise, the ideas they just flow… I would say, “There’s a joke about the Gettysburg address.’ Then it’s a laundry list you go down, and before you know it you’ve got a routine.”

THE ENVELOPE PLEASE: I’ll give Newhart the last word, more from that phone routine with Honest Abe:

“You TYPED it? Abe, how many times have we told you: On the backs of envelopes! Well, it looks like you wrote it on the train coming down. I know it’s harder to read, but couldn’t you put it on the backs of envelopes and then memorize it? We’re getting a lot of play in the press on that. How are the enveloped holding up? We can get you another box.”

There won’t be another Newhart. He was the best. We’ll miss him.