Aroldis Chapman was honking his mom's boobs on Instagram for ...

I’m not going to lie to you, dear reader. I’ve been staring at a blank screen for approximately 17 minutes trying to think of the best way to open this story and there isn’t one. So, let’s just put it all out there as factually as we possibly can:

Aroldis Chapman posted an Instagram story of him laying on a sofa with his mom and honking her breasts.

I wish there was a way to understand this, truly I do. I’ve been praying to the cosmos for some sort of explanation why Chapman would clearly feel up his mom, then feel the need to post it on the internet — but I can’t.

I thought to myself “Maybe that’s not his mom — age is just a number,” then I found a photo from ESPN in 2009 which clearly labeled this woman as his mother, Maria Caridad De La Cruz.

I’ve got nothing left here. Have a happy Wednesday.